The Holiday Season

I don’t need a boyfriend, I know that. It’s just that this damned time of year really makes me wish I had one.

It’s cold and everyone is cuddled and coupled up. People don’t go out as much, which makes it harder to meet new faces.



The past month or so I’ve tried my hand at dating lots of men. Where are all the normal ones?

One completely wasted my time and gave me all the signs of feeling one way and then spoke the complete opposite. One has been pretentious and patronizing. One utterly dull. The list goes on.

The dating game can be utterly exhausting. And though I love dating and I am a complete believer in it, sometimes I just want one person to watch a movie with. Most likely it's the season making me sappy, but it's hard to not feel alone during the holidays.

So my Christmas gift to myself consists of moving into a bigger place and running a 5K. If I can’t improve my love life, I might as well improve my home and physical life.

Sad? Silver lining? You be the judge.

Men, men and more men

The last couple weeks I've been spinning out of control. Four dates in one week - wow. I can't even keep track.

Now things are calming down a little, but for me, my week is booked before Monday. Between work, job, friends, family and men, I have no "me" time.

On Monday I unpacked all my winter clothes and hangers were sprawled on my floor like confetti... it was a "me" night. Now, I'm fully organized. (Or, my closet is at least.)

So after giving myself a night off, I agreed to a second date last night. It was a classic homemade dinner (made by him) with music and a make-out session on the couch. I felt like I was in junior high again, and the simplicity of it was quite nice.

Sometimes the whole dating scene gets overwhelming and we forget how nice the little things can be. Singing old songs on the couch while kissing is so natural. It's living instead of planning. It's nice.

OK, so I did it…

I joined the rest of the world in the not-so-new alternate universe of online dating. It’s been two weeks and I’ve received more messages on OK Cupid than I can count.

One friend said to me, “If nothing else, it’s a self confidence booster.”

And, she’s sort of right.

I’ve already been on three dates. Here’s a quick sum of each:

1. Good. Nice guy. We had some drinks and talked for a long time. Hugged goodnight. Second Date? We had brunch a few days later. Hugged goodbye. I think I’m going to classify him in the “FRIEND” category.

2. Started OK, went downhill. We had dinner and a glass of wine. The man was attractive, but incredibly arrogant, pretentious and a bit chauvinistic. Second date? HELL NO.

3. Awesome. We met at a pub for beer and talked for several hours. He was attractive, funny and I had a great time. Kissed goodnight. Second date? When/if the time comes, I’d say YES.

One friend. One asshole. One potential person to date… not too shabby for two weeks. But the dating has just started and more adventures are surely ahead.

Where did he pee?

Waking up to the sound of water streaming in my bedroom is not normal. That’s why, when I heard it, I sat up immediately. There, standing in the corner of my bedroom, was a man I’d been seeing for a couple weeks. We weren’t anything too serious, but he did spend a few nights.

“What are you doing?” I said sleepily.

I crawled up on my bed to see what was going on and I was horrified.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”



He was peeing. Peeing in my corner. Peeing on my carpet. Peeing on my pillow. Peeing on my desk. Peeing on my chair. He happened to stumble upon the messiest spot of my room, so that his pee managed to hit all of these things as gravity pulled it down.

He’d obviously had too much to drink, but ladies, it was a WEDNESDAY.
I yelled at him to go to the restroom and I started busting out cleansers, yelling “you’re cleaning this up!”

I walk into the bathroom, and low and behold, he missed the toilet. There’s pee on the seat, pee on the floor, and, pee all over my white cloth shower curtain.

I just about lost it – this is NOT what I signed up for, nor is it something I want. This man had been trying to get me to commit to him since our first kiss, and he thought that this was going to help?

Our whole little dating spout was too much, too quick. It was already getting overwhelming with his pressure for me to commit after a mere two weeks and this incident just threw me (understandably) over the edge.

That was the last night we ever slept next to one another. He’s now a friend, but just that. I deserve more than to get my stuff peed on… oh yah, and then he started yelling at me after he peed all over my stuff that night. Makes sense, right? Not.

I knew the dating scene was rough, I just didn’t think it was this dirty.

*Photo pulled from here

What's sex mean between the two of us?

Is SEX really the end all be all? Can't we ever just let the answers drift in the air for a bit, can't you ever just dangle and love the adrenaline rush of not knowing?

I'm OK with this, to a certain extent. If I'm OK with this, shouldn't men be? Good lord, the south confuses me.

Regional Differences

Texas men are very different from the northeastern men. They assume after two kisses you are theirs. Now many would think "isn't that what a woman wants?"

"No." We like you (men) need to search around a bit and don't need to be tied to one title immediately... it needs to be a decision with thought not immediacy. A conclusion, not an impulse.



There are the sweet ones and then weird ones. The ones that think you are meant to be, and then the ones who assume just because you are dressed nicely in their presence that you did it for them.

Guys, I don't know what type of messed up logic you reading, drinking, or eating these days... but you might need to have a serious talk reality. I know women aren't the most realistic people either... but, hell, WTF.

I can't deal with this southern craziness. I finally found a southern dude who I thought was a northeastern dude, but he wasn't. He was a mix of the northeastern distance without the northeastern passion, and a mix of the southern good 'ole (slightly chauvinistic) boy attitude without the the chivalry.



How did I get screwed into that? Well, not again. It's one or the other. Distance and Passion or Good 'Ole Boy and Chivalry...

Though neither seem ideal. Dammit. Maybe I should rethink this theory. Either way, there are pros and cons to the regions.

Enough said.

~Z

When it dies

Today I said to my colleague, "It's weird when you break up because you are used to talking to someone and knowing them really well, and then you go from that to nothing, to never speaking, to not knowing anything."

And he said, "Yah, it really is. It's as if they died."